Thursday, March 17, 2011

Working Kids

I've always had issue with silly things like labor laws. Anytime the government tries to impose regulations, it just hurts business. Let the free market decide what to do. If labor laws were necessary to protect people, then let the consumer decide whether they care about worker conditions. Case in point: labor laws restricting children from working too many hours. Kids are restricted in the number of hours they can work, which is a completely ridiculous premise if you ask me. You don't instill work ethic by restricting children from working.

I applaud attempts to reverse this stupid labor "protection" law. That's why I applaud efforts like Senator Jane Cunningham's drive to repeal child labor laws. What good are children for if we're not training them for the workforce? They provide a source of cheap labor for business, and they receive training for becoming productive workers. Who can object to that?

Thursday, March 10, 2011


It's important to always have control of your worker bees. Managing their every action is key for the success of the company since they are generally not competent enough to function on their own (remember, you're the boss and they are just grunts for a reason... you're the smarter more competent one!). I also like controlling when my employees can take their breaks, including food and bathroom breaks. At first, I thought this was just to make sure they weren't wasting time in breaks instead of working. But it turns out that forcing them to work when they claim to need a bathroom break is doing them good.

According to a recent study, people who can control their bathroom urges make better decisions. If you have enough self control to hold your pee, you have enough brains to delay gratification and make better decisions. I'm helping my employees choose to delay gratification. It's good for them, and it keeps them working longer. All in all, I say controlling your employees' bathroom breaks is a benevolent action.

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Death by computer

So a man can sit in front of a computer for three straight days playing games until he dies. No sleep, no food, just him and the computer. Find me someone who will do that working, and you will have found me the perfect employee. Continuous work with no food or sleep. And then they die at the end of, so I don't have to pay them. How awesome is that?

Joseph M. Scandura, incompetent moron, idiot, pompous, stupid, failure, asshole, arrogant, bullshit, micromanager of the year, technologically clueless, ignorant, condescending, senile, dementia