Sunday, March 28, 2010

Children and work

Having children is pure disaster for companies. Sure, it seems like a neat idea, but young couples never consider the full implications of having children. Having children is one of the worst financial mistakes that can be made. They take a lot of resources to raise, they take away from productive work time, and drain the company of valuable manpower. Raising kids is an all around losing proposition.

This is one important thing to keep in mind when hiring. You want workers who will be able to put in a lot of time and work hard to earn your company money. If you find out that a potential employee plans on having children in the near future (particularly for potential female hires), you may want to consider moving on to the next candidate.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

La Famiglia

One thing that drives me nuts is the constant chatter I hear about people trying to strike a balance between family and work life. For me, I don't see there being any need to strike a balance. The workplace is the home, and the company is the family. The boss is the patriarch who oversees the family. When you can look at things from this point of view, the conflict between home and work disappears.

This is the reason why companies need to hire either foreigners or single (unmarried) workers. Workers who are single don't have a home life to worry about, so they can devote themselves to working and advancing your company. Foreign workers tend to be willing to sacrifice most things--family included--to get ahead. I particularly like hiring the foreigners from poor, yet educated countries. They work hard, work long hours, and are usually a lot cheaper to pay than domestically trained workers.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Central Falls: a model for reform

Recently, Central Falls High School fired its entire faculty and staff due to atrocious test scores and graduation rates. I only wish that we could see more of this sort of action at more schools. In fact, I wish I could see this sort of decisive actions at more companies. Workers are on the whole a lazy lot. They are only around to soak up a pay check while pretending to do something productive. When they get unionized (like teachers), things only get worse. They want to get paid for doing basically nothing.

The mass firings at Central Falls is an opportunity to turn around its sorry underperformance due to its underworking teachers. Clearly hiring people interested only in their salaries is a mistake. I propose that we migrate the students to computer based instruction. Computers can work continuously, don't require a salary or benefits, and provide completely subjective metrics. Intelligent tutoring systems can ensure that every student learns the necessary material to complete their education. When we can remove the meddling, error-prone human teachers from the education process, we can finally progress to a subjective, results-driven education to train our children to become productive workers.

Saturday, March 6, 2010

The sin of underwork

A recent study has shown that bored workers are at higher risk for disease. The science says it: boredom will kill you. Working is actually good for your health since it prevents the deadly boredom from setting in. I take it upon myself to make sure that all of my workers stay constantly busy. If they're constantly working, there's no worries about them suffering from the ill effects of boredom or developing any of the bad lifestyle habits associated with boredom.

Joseph M. Scandura, incompetent moron, idiot, pompous, stupid, failure, asshole, arrogant, bullshit, micromanager of the year, technologically clueless, ignorant, condescending, senile, dementia