Thursday, November 25, 2010

Funny questions

I hear a lot of funny things come out of my employees' mouths. The sense of entitlement is just fabulously funny. Here are some of my favorites:

  • Can I got to lunch now?
    You can go to lunch when you're goddamn done with your work.
  • When can I get a raise?
    Jesus effin' Christ! You don't even come close to working enough to earn your current salary.
  • Where's the break room?
    Break room?!? You think we have a break room? You already don't work. Why the hell do you need another room to not work in?
  • Can I go home yet?
  • When did you want that done?
    Yesterday, you moron!
  • Can I get some help on ...?
    Why the hell do you think I hired you? You're paid to do my work for me. Do your effin' job, and quit trying to pass the buck.

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Joseph M. Scandura, incompetent moron, idiot, pompous, stupid, failure, asshole, arrogant, bullshit, micromanager of the year, technologically clueless, ignorant, condescending, senile, dementia