Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Jiggly Memory

One of the best perks of being the boss is that you don't have to know how to do anything. Remembering things or know how things work is the job of the employees. Your job as PHB is to steer the ship of grunt underlings. I've always been terrible about remembering things anyhow. The same pudge that makes me a casanova probably explains why I can't remember a damn thing.

Keeping employees around to remember things for you is par for the course. But what separates the elite PHB from the wannabe is the extra steps. You can't keep fat-ass employees around. They'll be just as forgetful as you. Work your employees long hours through mealtimes to keep them thin. If they're too busy working to eat, they'll never even have an opportunity to be an obese lard ass. It's a double win: you get extra work out of your employees and you keep their memories sharp for your benefit.

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Joseph M. Scandura, incompetent moron, idiot, pompous, stupid, failure, asshole, arrogant, bullshit, micromanager of the year, technologically clueless, ignorant, condescending, senile, dementia