Monday, August 30, 2010
I make it a point to make sure that my employees are parallel processing so that I can get the maximum amount of work out of them. For example, I'll tell an employee to work on debugging some code while they write a TPS report. Modern computers are powerful enough that multiple applications can be running at the same time. There's no reason why my employees can't be doing tasks in parallel.
Another good example of parallel processing is having my team of developers simultaneously log into a central computer to work on our latest software project. I can oversee everyone on the same computer as design, coding, graphics, and web development are done concurrently on the same system. The parallel processing improves efficiency so we get more work done. It's a technical advantage in our company processes that gives us an advantage over our competition.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
The solution to maximizing worker productivity lies not in rewarding your employees. The responsible boss should be actively seeking to pay as little as possible in salary to minimize the incentive dumbing down effect. Motivation must come in a different form: tight deadlines, unreasonable demands, sharp criticisms, etc. If the carrot is such an ineffective tool, we must turn to the stick. Beat your employees down to mold them into efficient company machines.
Monday, August 16, 2010
Thursday, August 12, 2010
I wish I had hire more beavers to work at the company instead of recalcitrant asses. My employees just plain suck at their jobs and don't put out nearly enough. I'd like nothing more than to bend them over and give them a severe beating. If there weren't labor laws, I wouldn't be wasting company seed money on those worthless bums. Next hiring round, I'll be on the lookout for good beavers.
Sunday, August 8, 2010
What does this tell us? Well, from the PHB point of view, it tells us that it makes no sense to develop a cooperative work environment because your employees will behave non-cooperatively anyhow. If you don't screw over your employees, they will inevitably screw you over. It's a dog eat dog world out there. Screw or be screwed.
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
To be a successful pointy haired boss, you have to be willing to step on people, use your employees, and plain piss people off. It's just par for the course to be an effective leader.
The first thing you have to realize to be a successful pointy haired boss is that your employees don't have to like you. If you're trying to be on friendly terms with all your employees, you're not being an effective boss. You're letting your employees control your actions, which is not the way the boss-employee relationship is supposed to work. As boss, you have to call the shots. You employees are probably not going to like most of your decisions because it means they have to work. If your employees actively dislike you, it's a sign that you're being effective at getting their lazy butts into gear to get things done.
"Trying to get everyone to like you is a sign of mediocrity." -- Colin Powell
Remember that as a boss, you are a leader and leading from the front. The losers watching you from behind are jealous and will try to drag you down. Negativity is to be expected. You have to have supreme confidence that what you're doing is right in order to effectively boss your employees around. If they have negative feelings towards you, so be it. There's a reason that they are just worker grunts and you're the head honcho.
"If you are really effective at what you do, 95% of the things said about you will be negative." -- Scott Boras