- Flat Top (FT) - You've got a bad hair do that should have died out in the 80's. You ain't got no hair loft, and you're basically on the ground floor.
- Hairspray Wannabe (HW) - You're in the fake it 'til you make it stage. Your hair may not point upward, but hairspray does wonders for making it look like it does.
- Madonna Cones (MC) - At this point, you can tilt your head and joust Madonna in her cone armor.
- Mount Olympus (MO) - You have achieved true hair elevation. Clouds form around your head and shroud the peaks in a divine air of mystery.
- High Level Despot (HLD) - Workers tremble at your feet and fear the wrath of your pointy hair. You can manipulate them at will.
- Autocrat Anonymous (AA) - Not only are you a total HLD to your underlings, but you've also disappeared off the radar of the higher ups in the company. You have security via obscurity and the power to control minions.
- Emperor's New Clothes - You are totally in charge and have everyone under your command. You could walk around the office naked and say that you're wearing clothes sewn from gold threads; no one would dare question you.
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