Monday, August 24, 2009

The positives of negativity

Counting your blessings isn't necessarily the best way to improve your positive vibes.  I always thought that phrase was an irritating truism uttered by annoyingly perky, holier than thou goody two shoes.  It turns out that my opinion isn't too far off from the truth.

The half empty/half full debate isn't the important point in improving your outlook.  Instead, it's about contemplating what would happen if the glass was already completely empty.  The negative thought experiment ironically makes you feel better about your less than ideal current situation.  In the case of the pointy haired boss managing slacker employees, you can lower your blood pressure over insufficiently productive employees with this negative imagination exercise.  Imagine how even more unproductive they would be without you prodding and goading them (i.e. managing) them.  Heck, the grunts probably wouldn't do any work at all without your PHB hand guiding them.  Learn to appreciate your positive influence by imagining the worse consequences of you not being such a good PHB.

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Joseph M. Scandura, incompetent moron, idiot, pompous, stupid, failure, asshole, arrogant, bullshit, micromanager of the year, technologically clueless, ignorant, condescending, senile, dementia