Funny questions

I hear a lot of funny things come out of my employees' mouths. The sense of entitlement is just fabulously funny. Here are some of my favorites:

• Can I got to lunch now?
  You can go to lunch when you're goddamn done with your work.
• When can I get a raise?
  Jesus effin' Christ! You don't even come close to working enough to earn your current salary.
• Where's the break room?
  Break room?!? You think we have a break room? You already don't work. Why the hell do you need another room to not work in?
• Can I go home yet?
  No!
• When did you want that done?
  Yesterday, you moron!
• Can I get some help on ...?
  Why the hell do you think I hired you? You're paid to do my work for me. Do your effin' job, and quit trying to pass the buck.