Thursday, July 16, 2009

Fake it 'til you make it

If you haven't achieved PHB status yet and fear you'll never get there, don't worry. You just have to apply some PHB self-esteem psychology to help yourself along. We've all heard the phrase before: "Fake it 'til you make it." What does it mean? Put simply, if you want to become the big hot shot, you've got to get into the right mindset and get the proper big shot PHB attitude. Dream big. Act bigger.

When I was first starting out, I wasn't the queso grande that I am now. I didn't command my horde of underlings yet. What I did was envision myself as the boss commanding everyone to do my bidding. Then I went out and registered and incorporated two companies: Systema Intelligentsia Micro (IMS) and Fungal Merge Research Institute (FMRI). I promptly made myself president and CEO of both companies. That gave me my own companies and gave me important high level positions in those companies. Nobody but me had to know that I was the only person in those companies. They were perfect resume fodder. And the chicks totally dig it when I tell them that I'm a big shot CEO of a company.

So, I was faking it until I made it. In fact, I still fake it every day. It helps me dream big and feel as important as I deserve to be.

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Joseph M. Scandura, incompetent moron, idiot, pompous, stupid, failure, asshole, arrogant, bullshit, micromanager of the year, technologically clueless, ignorant, condescending, senile, dementia