PHB Survey

I found an excellent survey for determining your pointy haired bad-assedness. Here are the questions:

1. Have you ever publicly criticized an employee?

2. Do you take credit for your employees’ work?

3. Do your employees fear you?

4. Do you expect employees to do what you tell them without question?

5. Do you believe employees should know what to do without you telling them or providing guidelines?

6. Are you a yeller?

7. Do you demean employees as a form of punishment?

8. Do you play favorites?

9. Do you hate delegating?

10. Do you check everyone’s work?

Done with the quiz? Excellent. Here are my answers for comparison:

1. Of course. Public ridicule is a highly effective method of shaming employees into performing. I didn't study pyschology for nothing.

2. Why wouldn't I take credit? I'm paying them to do the work, so the work belongs to me! What a silly questions. Next!

3. If they don't, then they should. I'll have to ramp up my screaming boss routine to make sure.

4. Duh! That's what they're paid to do. I'm the boss because I'm supposed to give orders to the underlings. They are underlings because they're not smart enough to be boss. Asking questions just pisses me off and wastes time.

5. Yes. If they don't know what they are doing already, then they are incompetent. They should be fired ASAP.

6. HELL YES! I HAVE TROUBLE HEARING MYSELF, SO I MAKE SURE TO SPEAK UP AND MAKE SURE I CAN HEAR MYSELF AND THAT EVERYONE ELSE CAN HEAR ME. THAT WAY I CAN BE SURE EVERYONE HEARD MY INSTRUCTIONS.

7. See answer #1. I've learned from my psychology training that negative reinforcement can be an incredibly powerful tool for getting employees into action.

8. Finally, my "no" answer. I can't possibly play favorites when all of my employees are equally incompetent.

9. Absolutely not. I'm the boss. It's natural for me to delegate all the work.

10. Always! Like I mentioned above, all of my employees are #$%#% incompetent. I have to check to make sure that they did their assigned task exactly as instructed. Besides, if I didn't check, they would most likely just blow off the task. It's critical to check up on everyone's work several times throughout the day.