Tuesday, May 26, 2009

PHB Profile: Robert Nardelli

Fewer people bring the auto into autocrat like Bob Nardelli.  As current CEO of the bankrupt Chrysler, Nardelli exudes confidence and authority.  Taking over a troubled company for an official salary of only $1, he clearly shows his confidence in his leadership abilities.  If anyone could have turned around the troubled automaker, surely it was the former military man.  His dictatorial, no nonsense approach would have been the perfect solution for the ailing company if it had only wooed him away from Home Depot earlier.

Before his tenure at Chrysler, Nardelli steadied the helm of giant home improvement retailer Home Depot.  He brought in the iron-handed, centralized power structure from his military days into the chaotic, hippy, free-wheeling culture of Home Depot.  Under his watch, he crushed the uppity free spirt of the employees and instituted a strict power hierarch, an unyielding regimen for dealing with customers, and instilled discipline within the ranks of grunt workers.  He was a shining example for PHB's everywhere when he turned Home Depot into a more appropriate namesake: Home Despot.

The company board stood by their strong leader at the beginning, but eventually their weakness was revealed.  Unrest amongst the common shareholders eventually forced Nardelli out of the company.  Nardelli fell to one of the unfortunate consequences of a democratic system, the ignorance of the masses.  Their limited mental capacities couldn't see the same vision as he did, and he was ultimately forced out of power.

But even an uprising of the unenlightened masses can't keep genius down.  Home Depot will regret his loss soon enough, as will Chrysler in all likelihood.  Like a phoenix rising from the ashes, Nardelli will ascend again to take his crown amongst the PHB greats.

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Joseph M. Scandura, incompetent moron, idiot, pompous, stupid, failure, asshole, arrogant, bullshit, micromanager of the year, technologically clueless, ignorant, condescending, senile, dementia